Within, Without
by rowanashke
Summary: Kakashi and Genma are overdue on thier mission. Iruka and Raidou cope. Short, drabbly introspective on the relationships between Genma, Kakashi, Raidou and Iruka.


I hate you all.

Ok, I don't. Really, really don't. I love you. I'm just TIRED.

Someone people who shall not be named mentioned a follow-up. I laughed and said, Nah. Then I tried to sleep. And I couldn't because THIS story thing was in my head making too much noise. Evil, evil evil. So I wrote it.

Fair warning. Don't know how good it is. Can't even tell if I'm spelling things correctly. But hey, it's here. Enjoy.

n.n

……………………………………………………………...

There was a knock at the door.

Iruka forced himself to stand and stumble to the entranceway.

Raidou was standing on the stoop, his face drawn.

Iruka silently let him in. He made tea and set it in front of Raidou, his arms heavy.

"They're almost a week overdue." Raidou whispered.

"They're fine. You know they'll come back." Iruka said tonelessly. "They always come back."

"_She _won't tell me anything about their mission." Raidou said after a moment.

"No." Iruka sighed. He'd tried, too.

…

Genma coughed and stumbled against the tree, pausing to lean against it.

Kakashi was fucking _heavy_.

Got to keep moving. Can't stop. Every step is closer to home. Closer to you. Got to keep moving. Can't stop.

…

Raidou sighed deeply and tightened his hold on Iruka. They were sitting on the roof, staring out over the town. Towards the forest. Towards _them._

"The Hunters are out." Iruka said after a moment. "She sent them out to find them."

Raidou nodded silently.

It had been almost two weeks now.

Raidou sighed again. "We should go to bed. You've got school in the morning."

"Yeah." Iruka gently freed himself from Raidou's arms and stood, offering the scarred man a hand up. "You got a mission?"

"No." Raidou said shortly. "I told the hag I wasn't taking a mission until we got an official word. I think she nearly blew a gasket, but she didn't insist."

Iruka chuckled. "The hag. Do you call her that to her face?"

"Do I _look_ stupid?" Raidou snapped.

…

Genma curled his arms tighter around Kakashi's body and stared at the rain, hypnotized by the shimmering silver flow.

"They're probably screwing like rabbits." Kakashi said out of the blue.

Genma blinked rapidly, trying to reassemble his brain functions. "Huh?" He said intelligently.

"Rai and Ru." Kakashi coughed and shifted painfully. "They're probably screwing right now."

Genma blinked again. "Uhm. So?"

"So?" Kakashi sighed. "It doesn't bother you that our boyfriends are seeing each other behind our backs?"

"It's not exactly like that. Or behind our backs." Genma said slowly. "Kakashi…"

"Do you think he'll leave me?" Kakashi asked plaintively.

"No." Genma said that with finality. "He loves you. Idiot."

"Hmmm."

They sat in silence for some time, watching the rain.

"Do you love me, Gen?" Kakashi asked softly.

Genma blinked. "Uh. Well, yeah."

"Good. I love you too…" Kakashi whispered.

Genma sighed. "You're feverish. Sleep, Kakashi."

"Don't want to." Kakashi murmured. "There's bad things in my head when I sleep."

Bad things. Nightmares. Genma sighed again, gently stroking his hand through Kakashi's damp hair. "I know."

…

Iruka whimpered in his sleep.

Raidou sighed and pulled the tanned man closer, murmuring nonsense in his ear sleepily until Iruka relaxed again.

…

Raidou was twitching.

Iruka cracked his eyes open and gently kissed Raidou's forehead, rubbing his nose against the rough lines of Rai's scars until he murmured and pulled Iruka closer, his body relaxing.

…

"Genma?" Kakashi asked quietly.

"Hmm?" Genma asked. He didn't feel good. He felt light-headed with fever and lack of food. And blood loss.

"Do you remember me asking if you loved me?"

"Yes." Genma licked his cracked lips and sighed. "I do. Why?"

"I was serious." Kakashi said slowly.

"I know. I was too."

Kakashi sighed. "Why didn't we ever hook up?"

"Because we'd kill each other in the space of a week." Genma said promptly.

"Oh." Kakashi laughed.

"Go to sleep, Kakashi." Genma ordered.

…

Iruka burst into tears in the middle of class.

The kids stared at him, shocked.

Someone led him out of the class, hugging him closely. Someone else sent for a substitute.

"Go home, Iruka." Iwashi said firmly. "Go home. You're no good like this."

"I'm sorry." Iruka whispered. Iwashi's face softened and he pulled Iruka into another hug. "Shh. It's ok. I know. Go home. You have someone to stay with you?" 

Iruka nodded and Iwashi smiled. "Good. Go. We'll cover for you. Gods know you've never asked for anything before. Let us do this, ok?"

"..Ok." Iruka whispered.

Raidou met him at the door, silently folding him into an embrace.

…

"Kakashi?"

Kakashi's eyes fluttered open. He was having a harder time keeping them open now. He knew that something bad would happen if he let them close all the way. He didn't know what, but he knew that _something_ would happen.

"Hmm?"

"Can I…can I ask you something?" Genma asked softly.

"Hmm." Kakashi said.

"Do you really love Iruka?"

Kakashi blinked, trying to make his foggy mind work. "yes."

"Good." Genma sighed. "That's good. He's…a sweet guy."

"Yes." Kakashi said with a cracked smile. "My sweet Ru…"

After a moment, Kakashi cleared his throat. "Why?"

"Because…hell, I don't know. I…"

"Do you love Raidou?" Kakashi asked curiously.

"Yes." Genma smiled briefly in the semi-darkness. "Very much."

"Good." Kakashi said.

"Kakashi?" Genma asked again.

"Hmm?" Kakashi fought to keep his eyelids from closing.

He felt Genma's lips on his and smiled, returning the kiss as well as he could.

It was a short, sweet kiss. It couldn't be anything else, with the shape they were both in. But it pretty much said everything that needed to be said.

…

"Iruka! Raidou! They're back! They found them!"

Asuma's voice rang through the door. Raidou nearly bowled him over running towards the hospital, Iruka a bare five seconds behind him. He was those seconds because he stopped for a brief clasp of Asuma's shoulder before pelting towards the hospital.

…

Iruka sat next to Kakashi's silent form, watching the way his breath made his chest rise and fall almost imperceptivity.

Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up.

He needed him to wake up. Just for a second. Just let me know you're still in there. Let me know that you're safe again and that you still love me and that you're still alive.

Kakashi stayed asleep.

…

"Rai?" Genma's voice was uncharacteristically hesitant and soft.

Raidou snapped out of the bleary daze he'd fallen into and leaned forward, grabbing Genma's hand. "Hey, lover."

"Hey." Genma smiled. "Sorry it took so long."

"Hey. You came back, that's all that matters." Raidou squeezed his hand and smiled.

"Hmm."

They sat in silence for a long moment. Then Genma coughed.

"Rai?" 

"Yes, Gen?" 

"How many times did you and Ruka screw while we were gone?"

Rai blinked.

"Uh…none, actually. What the hell?"

"I was just wondering." Genma chuckled painfully. "Trying to get a good mental image."

"You're such a pervert." Raidou snorted.

"Mmm hmm." Genma hummed happily.

"I love you, you perverted bastard." Raidou whispered.

Genma had fallen asleep.

Raidou sighed.

…

"Ruka?"

"Hmm?" Iruka looked up from his book and smiled. "Hey, Kashi." 

"Do you still love me?" Kakashi's voice was plaintive.

"Of course. Why?" Iruka asked quietly.

"Just checking."

Iruka watched him for a moment. He knew better than to hope. But he couldn't help it.

Finally, Kakashi sighed. "Ru?"

"Yeah?" Iruka asked softly.

"My toe itches."

Iruka sighed.

…

Iruka closed the door behind him and leaned on it, fisting his hands in his hair to stop himself from screaming.

Hands gently loosened them and drew him into an embrace. After a moment, Iruka relaxed, burrowing his nose into Raidou's chest.

Iruka found himself bawling. He couldn't help it.

Raidou simply held him, stroking his hair until he'd finished. Then Raidou gently wiped the tears away. Neither of them said anything. They didn't have to.

…

"Ruka?" Kakashi asked softly.

The sleeping chuunin shifted and mumbled something under his breath about tests.

Kakashi smiled. "I love you, Iruka."

Iruka snored.

Kakashi chuckled and closed his eyes.

Everything was right in the world again.


End file.
